


Disaffection

by L_ecureuil



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec reunion, Asmodeus deserved everything he got, Asmodeus shouldn't have tried, Depression, Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, M/M, Magnus is very done, Pizza, Revenge, TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, tired Magnus is ready to fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18485491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_ecureuil/pseuds/L_ecureuil
Summary: Asmodeus comes for Magnus, ready to lead his fragile son to Hell.Magnus is set on making Asmodeus' gloating session a short one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-less idea I had. I needed to let off some steam.

“You seem to have hit rock bottom, son. There is nothing left for you here, is there?” Asmodeus said.

 

Magnus grit his jaw but didn’t turn around. He was busy pouring himself a drink, wondering if he still kept holy water close by so that if he pitched his cocktail at his father, it would burn more than just his eyes.

 

“Nothing here for you at all,” Asmodeus said, “You’re living in your dead friend’s house. How would Ragnor feel that you would come here more than to clean in his wake?”

 

“Father,” Magnus said, pouring another ingredient, “I have a headache, I would like if you could show your way out of my best friend’s house.”

 

Asmodeus made a sound of discontent.

 

“You know, I could give you back your magic right now,” Asmodeus said, “For a price.”

 

Magnus coughed on his cocktail, turning his pained eyes onto the demon who stood so casually in his friend's haunted cottage, “What would you like from me, father-dear? My home? My boyfriend? My job? I have all of those to give you,” Magnus bit back, sarcastically.

 

Asmodeus tried not to look stunned by this, but kept in stride in moments.

 

“I can give you your immortality back,” Asmodeus said.

 

Magnus looked directly into Asmodeus’ eyes, “I would rather die alone with no magic than make another painful choice with you.”

 

“I can take away your memories of him,” Asmodeus said.

 

“I already have someone to take my memories away. I booked it before you arrived and I can’t go back on my reservation. That would be incredibly rude,” Magnus said, settling back into an armchair with his drink. He didn’t care about the dust around him. All the better, if he was going to hit rock bottom why not while sitting in the dead skin of his dear friend?

 

“Come to Edom and I can give you your powers,” Asmodeus said, folding his leather gloved hands around his cane.

 

“No,” Magnus said boredly, and he took out his phone and began texting, “That’s not a possibility.”

 

“I can get Alec to love you again,” Asmodeus said.

 

“Nope, not a possibility,” Magnus repeated in the same tone, “Now tell me, what would you ask of me, in my oh so weary state, that would get me these things? Hm?”

 

“Your time in Edom, even only a decade,” Asmodeus said, “That is all I require for your life to go back to how it was.”

 

Magnus kept texting, “Fantastic,” he said, “I’ll decline, though. I’ve done my time with you. Plus, none of it can possibly go to how it was. That’s not how it works and I know you’re not a controller of time, you father, Leader of Lust and Gamble.”

 

Magnus knew not to give Asmodeus any entries into his life, but he also knew that by annoying the demon, he was creating a more and more unstable individual.

 

“Did you really think a half-demon such as yourself could ever live out in the world without paying back your time with discontent? You suffered so much, my son. I watched you cry entire rivers from Edom.”

 

“Most of those are because of your impact,” Magnus said. “Imagine how much more agreeable I would be if I had been a happy child? I might even have been afraid of hurting your feelings today. But alas, I wasn’t happy, and I’ve found that the happier you are, the less I am. It’s all zero-sum from here.”  

 

“You’re already unhappy,” Asmodeus argued. “I saw what he did to you.”

 

Magnus had spent so many years with his father that the way he slowed down his speech to phrase himself was all too familiar. He had something hidden.

 

“You saw what you did to me?” Magnus said sounding genuinely surprised, unblinking.

 

“No,” Asmodeus said with a gruesome twist to his mouth, “What Alec Lightwood did. How he lost faith in your very happiness.”

 

“Let’s not talk about him,” Magnus said, “This is about you. You love talking about yourself so why not continue on that train of thought—There’s nothing you can offer that I would want, all bridges were burned centuries ago and I’m tired. You can take your _little_ power trip and put it right back into Edom. Up hell’s ass where you belong.”

 

“Taking your anger out on me won’t fix this,” Asmodeus said patiently.

 

“Yes,” Magnus said, “It won’t fix this, but it makes me feel good. It makes me feel good because you destroyed some parts of my life and knew the cost. You knew asking for my powers would get me to lose everything. I know you know, the small part of you which was born angelic is still connected to tidbits of the universe. You see beyond, into the future and you knew this would happen.”

 

“I knew you would need protecting when he inevitably broke your heart,” Asmodeus said innocently.

 

“So, you could replace him?” Magnus said, “Not a chance.”

 

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you,” Asmodeus said. He looked so comfortable and normal saying that. It was exhausting.

 

Magnus laughed cynically, “You’re a monster, you’ve done nothing nice and well meaning in your entire existence. Do you know that positive reinforcement works the best on children if you want to lead them in a specific direction? I would think you do because you tried things. You knew dangling food over the head of a starving child would get you father points. You knew that giving them something they wanted was good, because it lead me to trust you at an early age.”

 

“Yes of course—”

 

“And yet you still pull this,” Magnus said, “You would still think that taking away something of mine that would make me actively suicidal to my peers and would seclude me would get me to like you more. How is that positive?” Magnus said, pretending to sip his drink.

 

“I can’t all be good,” Asmodeus said, Magnus could see his was actively trying not to smile, “I’ve made mistakes.”

 

“That wasn’t a mistake,” Magnus said. “I know this because like a toddler with their hands in a cookie jar, you’re acting exactly like the demon I expect you to be.”

 

“I don’t know why I bother being patient with you, Magnus,” Asmodeus said, “I could have taken you back to Edom, powerless, a hundred times over now.”

 

“You bother because you feel you need me. You feel desperate, out of control.” Magnus said.

 

Asmodeus hissed, “And you, you who just wants to die?”

 

“I’m used to it,” Magnus said blandly, “I know what it’s like to feel out of control because I’m part human, and I haven’t trained with old masters and thinkers without understanding the basic principle of chaos. I know I can’t control everything,” he said, “But you’re like a toddler testing others to see who will move, and you’ve found that I won’t, so you’ve used other methods to try to corner me.”

 

“And I’ve succeeded,” Asmodeus said, “You’re powerless, you’re lifeless, you’re without a single other person supporting you.”

 

“You’re wrong on all counts,” Magnus said, “I’m alive, and you’re powerless because I’ve made you powerless with the help of my friend,” Magnus twisted his legs together and leaned forward. “You’re standing right in a trap, your feet planted directly where I need them to be. It’s an old trick. But I’m old. I knew you would come for me, you predictable bastard.”

 

Asmodeus tried to move but he couldn’t, the space he could pace was minuscule, a circle of enchantment keeping him from teleporting in any direction.

 

“I made that with the help of my friend,” Magnus said, “My dead friend Ragnor kept his house lined with long lasting traps in case a demon was ever stupid enough to walk into one. Of course, it had to be near the entrance. Right in that dramatic center where all egoists stand,” Magnus pushed himself from the uneven comfort of Ragnor’s sofa, legs unfolding gracefully.

 

“Catarina,” Magnus said, “Dot,” he said, “You can come out and join our guest, the one who ruined my life.”

 

Catarina unglamoured herself and walked down the grand staircase, Dot climbed out of the grandfather clock. They stalked around Asmodeus, their arms lifted in preparation for a spell.

 

“Father, these are my friends,” Magnus said, “Friends are roughly translated to people you depend on and care about when your blood family fails you. Have a look,” he said. “And even without them, I would still never join your ranks because I want to introduce you to something I was missing last time I worked for you: The feeling that regardless of how much I hate myself in the moment, I hate you more,” Magnus said, “And that outweighs your attempts to guide me back to you with gifts and follies.”

 

Asmodeus’ demon eyes burned with hatred for his situation, but he said nothing until he was crying out. Magnus had tossed his cocktail laced with holy water in his face.

 

“Did that disappoint you?” Magnus said.

 

“No, you’re only showing me how strong you are,” Asmodeus said, the skin of his face fixing up over his skull. “How strong I’ve made you. Who knew it would take losing a simple boy to get you this way?”

 

Magnus paused, collecting himself before he spoke by patting down his jacket, “Oh yes, I’ve grown much stronger. That I can guarantee. I don’t think you can take credit for that at all. Your only role here has been to be a pest in my life. If anything, Alexander made me stronger, not you.”

 

“Stronger by leaving you,” Asmodeus said.

 

Magnus swallowed back against the bile on his tongue, “That’s right, and you had nothing to do with that. Everything you’ve done has only weakened me.”

 

Asmodeus’ eyes narrowed, the stench of his skin repugnant to the gathering, “You already admitted I did everything to make this happen. Why would you say I weakened you? Do you not understand the dissonance in your words?”

 

“Alexander left me on his own terms. It’s not you who asked him to do so,” Magnus said simply, “So it is he who made me stronger. You were only a distant player when he did so. I’m more thankful for him than you.”

 

Asmodeus smirked, “But I did so, not him. I knew he was weakening you so I made a little arrangement,” he said. He licked his lips, the feeling of doom around him was candy to his demonic feeding.  

 

“Well, if he was going to leave me anyway, your arrangement was nothing direct,” Magnus said.

 

“I promised to give you your powers back if he broke your heart. If you ever fell upon the truth, you’d lose your powers instantly,” Asmodeus said, “So yes, your weakling boyfriend was exactly working by my will.”

 

Magnus tilted his chin up, “I was never supposed to know?”

 

“No, or else the arrangement was off,” Asmodeus said.

 

“And yet you told me, but you didn’t give me my powers. That’s not holding your end of the bargain, father,” Magnus said. “Funny that.”

 

Asmodeus blanched.

 

“When in time were you planning on returning my powers?” Magnus said, “Because breaking your end of the bargain, it takes away a certain strength. One person gave what was required, and another did not. By withholding your side of the bargain it was rendered null,” he said. His rage intensified, “You manipulated my boyfriend to break up with me so that you could take me back to your den as a slave,” Magnus said. He could feel wisps of his magic reaching out to him like a small energy field of goodwill the closer he was to his father.

 

“Hold him down, girls,” Magnus ordered his friends. He turned back to his father, “When I was sober, I learned of a spell which siphoned a demon’s energy into a warlock. It was meant for lesser demons, and like a vampire there had to be some energy within the weakened demon for the rest of it to be pulled. Like a tether,” Magnus said. “Because I don’t have the ability to siphon magic myself, you have two choices. One, your magic goes into me, your son, or I take your power and your blood and place it into an inanimate object and have that object, say this urn,” Magnus said, motioning to a flowery piece on the mantle, “And give that urn to an angel in exchange for my powers,” Magnus said. “One of these options is more painful than the other,” he said. “What will it be, father?”

Asmodeus made a choking sound, almost like he was trying to throw up reality.

 

“What’s that?” Magnus said, “Lost for words? It’s an easy decision if you ask me. You always wanted me to be powerful. This is your final decision on my life.”

 

Asmodeus hurled himself at the barriers left and right, burning himself on them.

 

“Urn it is—” Magnus said.

 

“You, take them, I give them to you!” Asmodeus said, and in such a whirlwind as to nearly collapse Ragnor’s house around them, Magnus could feel the chaotic power of one of the greatest demons of all realms tear through his body at once. He was so glad he wasn’t the one setting the spell because the sheer power coursing through him rendered him unable to move for the time it took to sift out of Asmodeus.

 

Magnus watched his demon father fall lifeless through the barrier, his demonic powers no longer holding his corpse in the circle. The tether was gone and so was Asmodeus. It was surprising he hadn’t returned to his demonic form during his death.   

 

Catarina immediately rushed towards Magnus, catching him underneath the arms. “Are you okay? Can you manage all of that?” she said. Her magic probed him, her hands searching for physical wounds.

 

Instead Magnus felt energized for the first time in months. He could feel further than he had ever felt with his magic. He knew what was happening valleys away, every cricket, every raindrop in this dreary countryside struck him at a base level.  

 

Magnus nodded, his limbs heavy with magic for the first time in weeks, “I survived the brunt of his magic when I took it for Jace, I can take this,” he said, laying a hand on hers.

 

Catarina smoothed Magnus’ hair, looking at him fondly albeit worriedly; a common expression of hers.

 

“He’s gone,” Dot breathed, lightness taking her, “Your father, he’s gone.”

 

“I’m glad his magic doesn’t hold his mind anymore. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if his thoughts were in mine,” Magnus said.

 

Catarina laughed weakly, “Well, you would have known with Lorenzo when he gave you that transplant.”

 

If Magnus were anymore a cat, his hair would have raised. Instead he grimaced and said, “Speaking of New York City, Alexander is probably working himself to death on a punching bag—or worse,” Magnus thought back on the time when Iris had poisoned their drinks, “Hell forbid—Dot, Catarina, do you mind if I come back later for the cleanup? I need to make sure my twenty-year old boyfriend doesn’t pull an Ophelia.”   

 

Catarina understood at once and pushed him, “Go!”

 

Magnus flicked open a portal with more ease then he ever had. He knew it was the adrenaline talking but he had to ask, “Do you think it’s too early to ask if he wants to become immortal with me?”

 

“Yes!” Catarina and Dot yelled in unison.

 

“Bye!” Magnus said, putting a foot out into New York City. “And thank you for your help! I love you both!”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Tightening his coat around him, Magnus scuttled across the Institute, hoping to only be noticed by the interns. There was a time and a place for Lightwood foolishness, this afternoon only required a single dosage.

 

 Surprised he was able to get to Alec’s room with only minimal stink eye, Magnus sat on the edge of the bed, shucking off his coat to lay the pizza he brought onto it. He sat very still, willing himself to be on time for the portion of the day between higher patrols. He could only hope Alec hadn’t done anything extreme and dangerous within that time, a thought that made him forever glad his boyfriend wasn’t the danger magnet his siblings were. Though, with Alec’s waning mental health, Magnus wondered if he should text someone to ask if his boyfriend hadn’t transferred himself to another Institute.

 

What told him Alec was still around was that his room was still intact. It had Magnus’ things and his portraits of his siblings in their childhood; pieces he wouldn’t think of leaving behind.

 

For fifteen minutes which included keeping the pizza warm via spell, Magnus’ mind raced to all the worse and worse possibilities that could come out of the break up.

 

_Alec isn’t Ophelia, he has people who love him and listen to him…_

 

Magnus’ brow perked at familiar heavy footsteps.

 

Alec lumbered into the room, barely looking around when he took off his training shirt.

 

Magnus knew exactly when Alec noticed him by the small shriek he made at the site of another person in the room.

 

“Magnus,” Alec said, arrested by what he was seeing.

 

Magnus tipped his head, smiling to himself, “Pretty boy,” he said.

 

“I—you can’t be here—” Alec said, knocking backwards into his own furniture.

 

“Alexander, give me your hands,” Magnus said, palm open and glowing in synch with his eyes, “What you’ve done to them is no good, we can’t have you hurting.”

 

Alec swallowed but nodded, kneeling in front of Magnus with his hands out. The softest pinpricks of magic fizzled over his broken skin, the wounds washing away along with the sweat and grime. The stream of blood dried right up and disappeared.

 

Magnus clucked his tongue, “I found out what you did,” he said, “And I won’t lie, I am furious that this happened behind my back.”

 

Alec shut his eyes as he’d often done when he wished he wasn’t processing what was in front of him.

 

Magnus hovered a hand close to his face but didn’t touch him, content in just being close, “You were doing something so selfless that you couldn’t see how hurtful you were being,” he admonished.

 

“I know how hurtful I was being.” Alec finally spoke, doe eyes glazed and exhausted. “But it was your life or this and I could never forfeit your life.”

 

Magnus had to stop for a moment, letting those words impregnate his mind. “Isolation was almost too much for me and you thought leaving me suicidal and depressed alone was a better idea? You were asked to break my heart, you didn’t have to leave me entirely, we could have been friends.”

 

Alec shook his head.

 

“What did he tell you?” Magnus said.

 

Alec licked his lip but said nothing.

 

Magnus sighed, leaning back on one arm and grabbing a piece of pizza. Alec’s eyes traveled the length of his torso.

  
“I’m not allowed to say what happened,” Alec said, “It’s between me and the universe.”

  
Magnus snorted, “Oh, is that right? And say ‘the universe’ decided to tell me anyway,” he put _the universe_ in bunny ear air brackets.

  
Alec gaped, “But that’s—”

  
“And the universe decided not to give me my powers back without trying to get me to sign another deal first,” Magnus said, tipping the pizza slice to his mouth.

  
“That bastard, I—I thought the deal was complete,” Alec said, once injured hands now fists on his lap.

  
“Tell me, Alec, did you really want a break or was this all him?” Magnus said, adjusting himself on the bed, “I need to know before I offer you pizza.”

  
Alec’s face crumpled, “All him. I would never leave you otherwise. I just needed you to be happy again. I couldn’t provide it so I—”

  
“Sicked my father on me,” Magnus said. He watched Alec’s full-bodied wince.

 

“I didn’t summon him,” Alec said helplessly, hands tearing at his hair.

 

“But he found his way out and luckily I was notified before he found me,” Magnus said.

 

Alec looked at Magnus, lost and afraid, “What did he do to you?”

 

“We exchanged words,” Magnus said, “And then I killed him with the help of Catarina and Dot.”

 

“You sent him back to Edom,” Alec said with relief.

  
“No,” Magnus said, watching gleefully as Alec tensed up, “No, I took his power and sucked his life force dry, and now he no longer exists. Don’t worry, I didn’t know it was a possibility until recently. I’m glad I didn’t drink again after you left me or else I might not have found that course of action.”

 

“You killed him,” Alec repeated, “You killed a Prince of Hell.”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Magnus said, peeling pepperoni off his piece. “He deserved it.”

 

“No, I believe you I just,” Alec was looking at him with new eyes, his expression so mixed that Magnus wondered if he was even feeling relief with all the emotions overtop of it.

 

“You killed him,” Alec said, “You took his magic and yours and then you decided to come sit in my room in a crop top with pizza?” he said, the awe palatable.

 

“Cool it pretty boy, we have a lot to work on before you can get back under this crop top,” Magnus joked, “Pizza?”

 

Alec hesitated but eventually stood up from his crouch at Magnus’ feet and pulled himself a chair to sit across from him. He ate with a gusto that told Magnus he had hadn’t been eating after the breakup at all.

 

“You killed a Prince of Hell,” Alec repeated around bread and cheese.

 

“And I practically am a Prince of Hell now,” Magnus said, “If you are what you consume. Incidentally, that also makes me pizza.”

 

“How are you so calm?” Alec said, always so rational.

 

"One, I haven't really processed any of this yet," Magnus said somberly, putting his slice down. “Two, he hurt me for hundreds of years. He took you away from me and played us like fools. The relief I feel at never having to see him again is almost more potent than the feelings I felt with you, but not quite,” Magnus said, “Because you’ve managed to powerfully impact my life.”

 

Alec stared down at his hands, “I’m sorry about that,” he said.

 

“Sorry you impacted my life?” Magnus said, frowning down at him.

 

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to do what I did to you,” he said, “I hurt you, I weakened you,” Magnus couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “You used to be so happy and I just stomped on your potential by bringing you down to my level.”

 

Magnus was at loss for words for a second before he said, “Did you think I came here in a sexy crop top to assure you that I want to break up after all?” His eyes flashed, “If you’ve thought this entire time that I’ve been in pain because of you, why did you think you should internalize that?”

 

Alec bent in on himself, “I didn’t want you to leave me. It was selfish I know—”

 

“No. It’s not selfish, it’s deranged. Alexander, do you really think I hate you deep down?” Magnus said, “If you thought I was going to pitch you away at any moment why in the world did you stay in this relationship?”

 

For a six-foot-tall man, Alec looked pocket sized at the wake of this discussion. Magnus watched tears build up as he tried to rationalize what he’d done, but Alec could barely put that self-hatred into words. The fact that Alec thought himself so easy to pitch away was heartbreak in itself.

 

“I didn’t think you hated me yet,” Alec said slowly, glancing up.

 

Magnus sighed, holding back tears of frustration? Sadness? He barely could tell anymore. All he knew was what he was going to do. He stood up and peering down at Alec, said, “May I sit in your lap?” Magnus said, placing a hand on his hip.

 

Alec nodded confusedly, yelping when Magnus placed himself across his legs and sat with his face inches away from Alec’s.

 

Alec looked like he was ready to be slapped, but Magnus instead collapsed over top of him in a hug.

 

“You took my magic away and I can’t even be angry at you,” Magnus said over his shoulder. He could feel Alec shuddering, he responded to the hug with long, sweaty limbs cradling Magnus into his chest. Magnus breathed him in, “I am angry,” Magnus said, “But this onion of reasons I’m angry aren’t all going to be dealt with today, not when you’re like this.”

 

“Like,” Alec didn’t finish the inquisitive ‘what’ in his state.

 

“Like you just watched humanity collapse and you’re the last survivor,” Magnus said calmly.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this shouldn’t be about me, I hurt you,” Alec said, nose pressed against Magnus’ hair. “I’m sorry I hurt you, I never wanted to do that. I just wanted you to be h-happy. Please.” Even his hands had never touched the skin of Magnus’ torso, instead gripping the crop top for dear life.

 

Magnus massaged Alec’s shoulders, tilting his face so that they were forehead to forehead.

 

“Alexander, baby, look at how exhausted you are. I wager you’ve spent the entire day arguing yourself into the ground,” Magnus said. He could see it in Alec’s eyes when he didn’t deny it. “You feel like you broke me,” Magnus said, “And you were very close. But it wasn’t all you, you know. I have an evil father to blame,” Magnus said, soothing down Alec’s face with the edge of his hand. “A father I killed on purpose this time,” he joked.

 

Alec’s fingers loosened from his shirt. “That’s not funny,” he mumbled, his voice thick with pain.

 

“It is a little,” Magnus said, rolling his forehead to the side to glance at Alec from an angle.

 

“I don’t understand how you could still love me after all this,” Alec said. “Maybe we _do_ need a break.”

 

“That’s not your decision to make _for_ me,” Magnus said with forced calm, “We just discussed this.”

 

Alec rasped a humourless laugh, “Right.”

 

“Instead let’s work on offers. You offered to break up on my behalf, I’ve declined. Now I raise you, cuddling on your bed until your next shift starts.”

 

Alec met his eyes, “Really?”

 

“We can even kiss if you’re up for it—mphhh,” Magnus struggled to settle into the loving kiss but did so eventually, turning his body to straddle Alec’s lap for better access. When their lips popped in parting, Magnus nuzzled Alec’s nose, “This isn’t a no sex crop top. It’s not a _breakup_ crop top, Alexander.”

 

“I get it—”

 

“It’s not a virgin crop top—”

 

“Why are you—"  

 

“I didn’t bedazzle it with the words ‘touch me’ because I wanted you to question whether—”

 

“Okay, I get it!” Alec said earnestly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, basically:
> 
> Alec: You killed your dad and now you're.... eating pizza on my bed.... wearing a crop top that says 'touch me?'  
> Magnus: *gulping down pizza* yes why?  
> Alec: Are you okay?  
> Magnus: I just downed more magic than I've ever had in my life and you're asking me if I'm feeling even a little bit sane right now?


End file.
